The Hospice Garden

Bex was on the Nelson Tasman Hospice service earlier this year. Her mum, Sally, wrote this at the time.

Whilst my daughter Bex was sleeping I ventured into the hospice gardens and sat on a wooden seat in front of a trickling water feature. I closed my eyes to meditate and felt the warmth of the winter sunshine on my face and hands. My body began to relax as I reflected on my previous visit to these tranquil gardens.

It was our first visit to the hospice shortly after Bex’s incurable cancer diagnosis. We walked hand in hand reading the wise words moulded into the side of the meandering paths. It reminded me of the Eden Project in Cornwall on the other side of the world.

Today I sat alone thinking of Bex feeling loved, safe and nurtured by the dedicated hospice staff and lying cosseted by pillows in her adjustable hospice bed. Within a few days or weeks I will lose my darling daughter whose warmth and loving companionship I have cherished for 48 years. Becoming a mother was the most fulfilling experience of my life and a wonderful learning curve. For the past two years Bex has been blessed with this gift after the birth of her daughter Willow and I can see so much of Bex in Willow’s developing personality. She will always have an abundance of friends and people who love her.

In my sadness I try to think of the positive aspects of this challenging journey and what I have learned. My wish is to honour Bex’s life by using my experience to help others and I know Bex would encourage me to do this. Soon she will be lifted from suffering to a peaceful place in a different universe. We don’t have the knowledge to imagine the nature of this place but we know for certain that one day we will follow.

Sally McDonnell July2023