A Love That Lingers: Adam and Katie’s Hospice Journey

When Adam speaks about Katie, his late wife, there’s a spark in his voice—part laughter, part love, part lingering grief. Katie, he says, was a “quirky, wonderful character,” with a free spirit and irrepressible joy for life. The kind of woman who would bake a cake just to eat it with her hands, laugh maniacally while running through tunnels with the kids, and dye her hair bright blue just because she could.

Adam met Katie when he was just 22, working at Noel Leeming. Their friendship blossomed into something more over years of getting to know each other and weekends spent driving between Christchurch and Nelson to spend time together. When the time was right, Adam packed up his life and moved to be with Katie and her two young sons. He jokes about the “instant family” and the chaos that followed—but behind the humour is a deep admiration for the woman who changed his life.

Katie’s cancer diagnosis came like a jolt. What started as a worrying mass in her breast turned into surgeries, chemotherapy, and eventually, a devastating metastasis to her liver. Through it all, Katie remained fiercely herself—determined to live, to laugh, and to find joy even in the darkest days.

She was just 36 years old when she died.

Although Katie wished to spend her final months at home, her illness became too complex to manage without additional care. Over the ten months she was supported by Nelson Tasman Hospice at home, Katie was in and out of the inpatient unit on Suffolk Road for periods of respite and symptom management. Despite the circumstances, she found comfort there. The peaceful environment, the privacy of her own room, and the gardens outside her window helped bring calm during difficult times.

Adam admits he didn’t know what hospice was before Katie needed it. What they found, he says, was more than medical care—it was peace. “Hospice felt like a sanctuary,” he recalls. “Private rooms, beautiful gardens, people who cared without hovering. It wasn’t invasive. It was gentle.”

Katie would stay for a few days at a time, never more than a week, when things became too hard at home. Adam was there most nights. He even brought Katie’s mischievous bird, Tiger, to visit—a parrot who knew only one word (“peekaboo”) but brought smiles and a bit of cheek to the quiet halls.

The family also received support from the Nelson Tasman Hospice clinical psychologist and social worker—something Adam says made a real difference, not only for him and Katie, but for the children as well.

In November 2020, amid the treatments and the uncertainty, Adam and Katie got married. “She wanted a ring,” he laughs, “and somehow that turned into a wedding.” It was perfectly Katie—unexpected, heartfelt, and full of love. Less than a year later, on the one night Adam wasn’t by her side, Katie passed away.

That remains his greatest sorrow.

Now, Adam volunteers at Founders Park, slowly rebuilding life in the wake of loss. He still treasures photos and videos of Katie—images that capture her wild laughter and the deep, joyful connection they shared. He’s embraced by a supportive community and surrounded by memories, both sweet and painful.

Hospice, he says, gave Katie dignity. It gave their family time and space. And for Adam, it was the difference between facing loss alone or being gently held through it.

“I wouldn’t have made it without you,” he says.

Adam hopes that by sharing their story, others might feel less afraid of what hospice is—and more open to the care and comfort it offers. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Hospice isn’t a place to fear—it’s a place of peace.”